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The best jokes and joke writers!

Bob in Accounting?

The company president called the chief security guard into his office. "Chuck, we've received a complaint from one of the employees that you are making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don't  belong. These unwanted advances will have to stop." Chuck looked down at his feet and mumbled, "I'm sorry, Sir. I won't' do it again." The company president said, "I'm sure Ms. Jones will be happy to hear that." Chuck's face lit up. "Ms Jones?!!!! I was afraid that Bob in Accounting was complaining!!!!"

Elton John - Wind

David Furnish has a terrible flatulence problem. Poor Elton John.

It seems to me, he lives his life, just handling the wind.

Get Some of This

Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get's her head stuck. The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other, "This is too good to pass up," gets off his horse, unzips his pants and starts fucking the shit out of this heifer for at least ten minutes. When he finally finished he looked up to his partner and asked him if he wants some of it. His partner replied, "Hell yes, that looks pretty good," climbs down off his horse drops his pants and sticks his head in the fence.

Backstreet Boys

Q: What is the only instrument the Backstreet Boys are good at playing?

A: The male organ.

Gay Parents

Q: Why does it suck to be raised by gay parents?

A: You never get a straight answer to your questions.