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Sex Jokes - Gay Jokes
I'm The Queen
The United Airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed, rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Now put the tray up, Bitch."
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Name Please
This guy walks into a bar and two steps in realizes it's a gay bar, but decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink."
When the gay waiter approaches he says to the guy, "What's the name of your penis?"
Guy: Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink.
Waiter: I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called 'Nike" for the slogan 'Just Do It'. That guy down at the end of the bar calls his 'Snickers' because 'It Really Satisfies'.
The guy looks dumbfounded, so the waiter says he'll give him a couple of minutes to think it over. So the guy turns to the man on his left and asks, "Hey, bud, what's the name of your penis?"
Other customer: Timex!
First guy: Why Timex?
Other guy: Because it takes a lickin and keeps on tickin!
A little shaken, he turns to the guy on his right.
First guy: What's the name of your penis?
Second guy: Ford! Because quality is job #1! Have you driven a Ford lately?
Even more shaken, he thinks a little more and finally thinks of a name for his penis.
Guy: Bartender! The name of my penis is "Secret'!
Waiter: (pouring beer) Why 'Secret'?
Guy: (proudly) Because it's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!
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Bus Driver's Parents
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull." The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant." The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!" The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"
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