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Sex Jokes - Bestiality Jokes
Milking the Cow
A dairy farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks him, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?" Farmer, "Some things you just can't explain." Man, "So what happened that's so horrible?" Farmer, "Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket. "Man, "Okay, but that's not so bad, what happened then?" Farmer, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left." Man, "And then?" Farmer, "Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket." Man, "So, what did you do then?" Farmer, "I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail." Man, "So, what did you do?" Farmer, "Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in. Some things you just can't explain."
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Three Dogs at the Vet
Three dogs were at the vet talking to each other, when they got to the topic of why they were there.
The first dog says, "I chewed up all my masters shoes, and that's why I'm here."
The second dog said, "I peed on my masters $1,000 rug."
The third dog then pipes up and says, "My master is a woman and she likes to clean house in the nude. So today, when she bent over to pick something up, I went for the ride of a life time!"
"And that's why you're here?" asked the other dogs.
"No," replied the third. "I'm getting my nails clipped."
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Holy Camel
A Priest, a Nun, and a Camel are crossing the desert. The camel falls dead. Before I die, the father says, "I would like to see a woman naked. So the nun takes off all her clothes. She then says, "before I die I would like to see a man naked. So the father takes off his clothes. She looks at his penis and says, "My God!! What is that for?" He says "You stick it in a hole and it brings forth life." The nun replies, "Then how about you stick it up that camels ass and let's get the hell out of here!"
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