Sex Jokes

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English Woman and American Pastime

A man went to England on a trip and met a woman there, they grew to like each other enough for her to come to America with the man on his flight home. When they got back to America the man said, "I would like to show you an American pastime: baseball." So the next day the man took her to a baseball game. The first man came up to the plate and hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the next man bunted the ball and got to first base, and the third man came up to the plate and got walked. The man said, "Are you understanding this game?" The woman answered, "Yes, but what I don't understand is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first man and he hits it. Then he hurls the ball at the second man and he taps it and runs to where the other man was standing. And then the third man, this is the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball and he just stand there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there then he just walks to the place where the other man was standing." Then the man says, "Well that is because he has four balls." The woman says, "Poor thing! He couldn't run if he tried."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (American Jokes) , Sports Jokes (Baseball Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts)
Anonymous

Little Red Sports Car

A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"  "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl. A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?" "Sure," said the little boy. The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said. "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit....so I cut the back wheels off....."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Jokes about Kids , Sex Jokes (Private Parts)
Anonymous

Norman and Barry

Norman and  Barry got married in California. They couldn't afford a honeymoon so they went back to Norman's Mom and Dad's house for their first married night together. In the morning, Little Johnny, Norman's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Norman and Barry are up yet. She replies, 'No'. Little Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?' His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to  school.'
Little Johnny comes home for lunch and asks  his mom, 'Are Norman and Barry up yet?' She replies, 'No.' Johnny  says, 'Do you know what I think?' 
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school' 
After school, Little Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Norman and Barry up yet?' His mom says, 'No.' He asks, 'Do you know what I think?' His mom replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.' He says: 'Last night Norman came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.'

Categories: Sex Jokes (Gay Jokes) , Little Johnny / Suzie Jokes
Submitted BY: JohnT