Puzzling Question

I have discovered the answer to a question that has been puzzling scientists for hundreds of years.
Q: What is the exact difference between a split second and a nanosecond?
A: My girlfriend and I were getting ready to go to a movie when, right as we were about to leave home, my girlfriend asked me the question all guys dread. She asked, “Does this make my butt look big?” If I had said “no” in a nanosecond, we’d have been out the door. Since I took a split second, she had to go to the mall and buy new outfits with jewelry, shoes, and purses to match.

Fast Food

Q: What's a bulimic cheerleaders favorite restaurant?
A: In-N-Out Burger.

Strong Britain

Q: What makes Britain so strong?
A: It´s the two-party system. One big party on every Friday and another big party on every Saturday