Cannibal Food

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbequed 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"

St. Paul Vs Minneapolis

Q: Why did everyone in Minneapolis quit going to church and lose their faith?
A There are a dozen pages in the Bible about St. Paul, but nothing about Minneapolis.

Stress-Relieving Prayer

Stress-Relieving Prayer;
Lord, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I might have to kiss tomorrow. Amen.