St Peter and the Three Nuns

Three Nuns died and were up at outside the gates of Heaven. St. Peter was there with them. St. Peter decided he needed to quiz each nun with adifferent question to see if they really desereved to go to Heaven. St. Peter asked the first nun, "Nun, who was the first man on earth?"
She replied, "That would be Adam." St. Peter let her through the gates.
St. Peter walked up to the second nun and asked her, "Nun, who was the first woman on earth?"
She replied, "That would be Eve." St. Peter let her through the gates.
St. Peter walked up to the third nun and asked her, "What was the last thing that Eve told Adam before they left Paradise?"
The nun was puzzled. She thought about it for a long time. "HHHHMMMM," she said aloud, "That's a hard one." St. Peter let her through the gates.

Heaven or Hell

A woman dies and her spirit goes to judgment. God tells her that she's not been very good but also not evil, so she can choose heaven or hell. She asks to become an angel in heaven of course.
An angel takes her on a tour of heaven. Behind a closed door she hear tortured screams. "What is that?", she asks. The angel replies, "Don't worry, they're just drilling holes in someones back to fit the wings in." They keep walking. Behind another closed door there are more screams. "Don't worry, they're just drilling a hole in the head to hold the halo."
The woman yells, "If this is heaven, take me to hell!"
"But you'll be brutally raped there all day for eternity!" replies the angel.
Says the woman, "I already have holes for that!"

Be Patient

A doctor dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates and checks him in. After he's registered, St. Peter says to him, "Look at the time: you must be hungry! Heaven Cafeteria is serving lunch, why don't you get yourself something to eat?"
The doctor goes to the cafeteria and notices the long line. He immediately cuts in at the front, only to hear loud protests. "I'm a doctor" he says, "I'm a busy man, I don't have time to wait in line."
The others say, "You're in heaven now, we're all the same here, get to the back of the line and wait your turn!"A few weeks later, waiting patiently on line for lunch, the doctor notices a man come dashing in wearing scrubs and a lab coat, stethoscope around his neck. He butts in at the head of the line and no one utters a peep.
"Hey," he says to the guy in front of him, "Who does that guy think he is?"
"Oh, that's God," says the guy, "He likes to play doctor!"