White and Flies
Q: What is white and flies across the sky?
A: The coming of the Lord.
Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve!
Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve
- God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions
- God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.
- God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would, therefore, need Eve to go get one for him.
- God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
- God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
- God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
- As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
- Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
- As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone!"
- When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head, and said, "I can do better than THAT!"
Definition of Teenager
Q: What's the definition of a teenager?
A: God's punishment for enjoying sex.
An Improvement on Adam
Q: What did God say after creating Adam?
A: I must be able to do better than that.
Writing a Sermon
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me," the father answered. The boy replied, "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"