God Created Woman. And She was Good. She had 2 arms, 2 legs and 3 breasts. And God asked the woman what she would like to have changed about herself. She asked for her middle breast to be removed. And it was good. She stood with her third breast in her hand and asked God what should be done with the useless boob? And God created Man!
An Improvement on Adam
Q: What did God say after creating Adam?
A: I must be able to do better than that.
Writing a Sermon
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me," the father answered. The boy replied, "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
History of Lawyers
Why God Created Lawyers. Satan was complaining bitterly to God, "You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship and adore you. People fight, get arrested, and cheat each other, and I get blamed, even when it is not my fault. Sure, I'm evil, but give me a break. Can't you do something to make them stop blaming me?" And so God created lawyers.
Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are separated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers.
He called the devil over and said, "Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence." Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence... but it was 2 feet further into heaven than before.
"Satan!" beckoned God. "You have to take that fence down and put it back where it belongs!"
"Yeah? What if I don't?" replied the devil. "I'll sue you if I have to," answered God. "Sure," laughed Satan. "Where are you going to find a lawyer?"