Burnt Business Corrections

There was a guy who owned his own business. He sold plastics to many different companies. One day one of his warehouses burnt to the ground. This led to many orders being canceled and a loss of customers. The insurance company was not going to cover the damage. This guy was in real trouble. He could lose everything. Well, the guy decided to see his minister. He said to the minister, "I need help! My warehouse burnt to the ground, my product is all gone, my customers are leaving, and I am losing everything!" The minister told him, "You can find all the answers to your problems in the Bible." The guy asked, "Where should I start?" The minister answered, "If you do not know where to look, just open the book and place your finger on the page, and start right there. Sooner or later you will find your answers." Well, A few months later the minister ran into the individual. It was obvious the individual had become very successful. He had a new car, new clothes, several rings and chains. The guy walks over to the minister and says, "Thank you. The answers I found turned my life around!" The minister was curious and said, "In what passage did you find your answers?" The man says, "I did just what you said. I opened the Bible to a spot, looked down, and found my answer staring me right in the face - "Chapter 11."

Knock Knock - Kristin

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Kristin! Kristin who?
Kristin the baby in church!

Jesus' Disciples Bring Drugs

Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did.
Two days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return. Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple: "Who is it?" "It's Mark," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Mark?" "Marijuana from Colombia." "Very well son, come in." Another soft knock is heard. "Who is it?" "It's Matthew," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Matthew?" "Cocaine from Bolivia." "Very well son, come in."
At the next knock Jesus asks, "Who is it?" "It's John," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring John?" "Crack from New York." "Very well son, come in." Someone starts pounding on the door. "Who is it?" "It's Judas," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Judas?" "FREEZE! THIS IS THE FBI!"