A Babtist and a Catholic Preacher

A Baptist preacher and a Catholic priest are driving out on a road. The Catholic priest sees a cat in the middle of the road, and slams on his brakes. The cat is avoided, but the Baptist preacher hits the back of the Catholic priest. They step out of their cars, and begin talking. "Oh, I am so sorry, that was my fault," says the Baptist preacher. While waiting for the cops after they called by cell phone, the preachers soon start talking about their professions to pass the time. "You know, I never understood why Catholic priests don't drink wine to represent Christ's blood." The Catholic priest responds, "Well, we believe that drinking wine is wrong, and just use grape juice instead." "I have a bottle of wine in my glove compartment right now. Tell you what, let's drink a little right now while waiting for the cops." "Oh, no I couldn't, replies the Catholic, but after pressuring him, the Catholic priest soon agrees. The Baptist preacher takes out the wine and a couple of Dixie cups, and pours a little into each. The Catholic priest drinks it down quickly. "That wasn't that bad, you're right," the Catholic priest says. Noticing the baptist hasn't drank his wine, he asks, "Aren't you going to have some?" "Oh sure," the other replies, "I'll wait until after the cops come though."

Lawyers In Heaven

Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair.  So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer. Saint Peter: "This fence needs some repair. I'll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it." Lucifer: "If you want it fixed, you pay for it." Saint Peter: "The fence is partly your responsibility and you will help pay for it or I will sue you for that amount." Lucifer: "Ha!! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!"

The Right Way to Ask a Question

A Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418. A short time later, someone knocks and when he opens the door he sees 2 beautiful and sexy girls who asked him, "Have you ordered 2 shikses for one night"?