Mothers

Q: What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
A: An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill you." A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself."

Standing Taboo

Q: Why don't Baptists have sex standing up?
A: Someone might think they're dancing 

Rabbi and a Priest

The priest and the rabbi were on a plane flying across the ocean when the plane developed engine trouble. Everyone was doomed. The priest turned to the rabbi and said, "Before I die there's something that I would like to know. You being Jewish and all -- have you ever tasted ham?" "Well," the rabbi laughed, "Sure I've tasted ham. But tell me father, before we die -- could you tell me if you have ever made love to a woman?" The priest blushed and said, "There was this one time I gave in and made love to a woman." The rabbi looked at the priest and said, "Beats the hell out of ham, don't it?"