The Pope

Q: What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?"
A: Popeye beat the shit out of him!"

Better Than Pork

An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you're not supposed to eat pork. Have you actually ever tasted it? The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you're suppose to be celibate. But...." The priest replied,  "Yes, I know what you're going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice." There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn't it?"

Pregnant Nun

Q: What's the fastest way to get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy.