On their wedding night, the husband was so self - conscious about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his pants and handed his member to his bride. "That's thoughtful, darling," she cooed, "but we'll need the light if you want to write thank-you notes ."
Q: What food can diminish a woman's sex drive by 90%?
A: Wedding Cake.
The wedding night should be like a good chicken meal, a little bit of breast, a little bit of leg... and a lot of stuffing!
Q: Which melon will never run away to get married?
A woman getting married for the fourth time visited a tailor to get a wedding dress made. When the tailor inquired about the color, the bride-to-be said white.
The tailor was a bit surprised by this, and said, "Excuse me, I don't mean to pry, but since white is the color traditionally worn by a virgin on her wedding night, I can't help wondering if you might still be a virgin? How could that be?"
The woman replied, "I'm sorry to say, but that's the way it is. You see, my first husband was a psychologist. He just wanted to talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist. He just wanted to look at it. My third husband was a stamp collector. God, I miss him..."