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The best jokes and joke writers!

Return Your Keys

Before a friend's wedding reception, we passed out keys (blanks) to several girls and one guy. Before some toasts were made, the best man said to the guests, "Now that Jim is married and is no longer available, it is probably a good idea to have any of you girls out there with a key to his apartment to please turn it in now." Then the pre-selected girls (about thirty of them) slowly walked up and handed in their keys as they made bedroom eyes at him and flirted a bit; some of the girls would turn in not just one key, but six or seven of them. Then the guy walked up, turned in the key, and kissed the groom on the cheek. It's probably not original, but it worked pretty well.

First Man?

The newlyweds were on their honeymoon when the groom asked, "Honey, you can tell me. Am I the first man?" She looked up and said, "Why does everybody ask me that?!"

Wedding Night

The wedding night should be like a good chicken meal, a little bit of breast, a little bit of leg... and a lot of stuffing!

Melon Love

Q: Which melon will never run away to get married?

A: Cantaloupe

White Gown

A woman getting married for the fourth time visited a tailor to get a wedding dress made. When the tailor inquired about the color, the bride-to-be said white.

The tailor was a bit surprised by this, and said, "Excuse me, I don't mean to pry, but since white is the color traditionally worn by a virgin on her wedding night, I can't help wondering if you might still be a virgin? How could that be?"

The woman replied, "I'm sorry to say, but that's the way it is. You see, my first husband was a psychologist. He just wanted to talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist. He just wanted to look at it. My third husband was a stamp collector. God, I miss him..."