Losing Argument

Q: Why's arguing with a woman like reading a software license agreement?
A: In the end, you ignore everything and click 'I agree'

Penny Thoughts

A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while; then the lass said, "A penny for your thoughts."
The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said, "Well, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me a wee bit of a kiss."
So she did so. But he again lapsed into a pensive mood which lasted long enough for the lass to ask him, "What arre ye thinkin' now?"
To which the lad replied: "Well, I was hopin' ye hadn't forgot the penny!"

When You're Away

She: "Do you think of me when you're away darling?"
He: "Yes honey, I always bare you in mind."