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The best jokes and joke writers!

Civil Engineer's Relationship

Q: Why was the civil engineer's relationship so unstable?

A: Because there was no truss left!

Hunting Trip

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck. "Where's Henry?" one of his campmates asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail." "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!" "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

Commitment Definition

Having spent half the night discussing involvement vs. commitment (one of my favorite topics when I've had a couple of glasses of wine and am feeling particularly cranky) with my boyfriend, I was quite amused to see the following saying pop up when I logged in the next morning:

Commitment, n.: Commitment can be best illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs. The chicken was involved, the pig was committed.

This Day Holds a Lot of Meaning...

This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children. I'll never forget that game of cards.

Chinese Proverbs

  • Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
  • Man who run in front of car get tired.
  • Man who run behind car get exhausted.
  • Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
  • Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
  • Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
  • Man with one chopstick go hungry.
  • Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.
  • Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
  • Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
  • Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
  • War not determine who right, war determine who left.
  • Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
  • Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
  • It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
  • Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
  • Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
  • Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
  • Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
  • Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
  • Man who lay woman on ground get piece on earth.