Relationship Jokes - Marriage Jokes

Lining Up the Shot

A guy is standing over his tee shot, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... His partner says, 'What's taking so long?' The first guy says, 'My wife is on the clubhouse porch, so I want to make a perfect shot. His partner says, "forget it... you'll never hit her from here."

Anonymous

Just Before I Die

Showing his friend around his his home, Jennings pointed out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage. "The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth." "Well," his friend replies, "since you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, you'll never be able to sell!" "And that's where you're wrong," the man smiled. "If I sell it, my wife would kill me!"

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Anonymous

Spot The Difference

A very old, but respected man walked into a local tavern. He looked around at the decor and realized it was the holiday season. He saw his neighbor, drunk out of his mind. The old man stepped up to the neighbor and asked him a question, "Jack do you know what difference between the baby Jesus and your wife?" "No," replied the drunk man. "Well the baby Jesus slept with a jackass one night, your wife sleeps with one every night."

Anonymous