Relationship Jokes - Divorce Jokes

Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.

Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.

A husband says to his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?”

She says, “I would take half and then leave you.”

“Excellent,” he replies. “I won $12. Here’s $6. Now get the f*ck out.”

Mickey and Minnie have been having problems for some time now and after hearing of Barbie and Ken's break up, they too decide to call it quits. Donald goes to Mickey to console him and says, "She's been a problem since day one. I'm glad you finally saw that she's crazy." Mickey looks at Donald and replies, "No, I broke up with her because she's fucking goofy."

Q: Why did Mickey divorce Minnie?

A: Because she was f*cking Goofy.

Q: What's the major cause of divorce?

A: Once is not enough.