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The best jokes and joke writers!

You Might Be A Redneck 37

You might be a redneck if...

  • The directions to your bathroom include, "Go past the big oak and hang a left at the woodshed."
  • You're in bed with your wife and you call out a name you gave to a coon you killed.
  • You've ever been arrested for where you got your girlfriend roses.
  • Your old car is now considered the main storage unit.
  • Every magazine on your coffee table has a piece of toilet paper for a bookmark.
  • Charlie Daniels is your commencement speaker.
  • After the divorce you still call your Ex "Cuz".
  • You have a bowling machine in your kitchen.
  • You pick up your girlfriend on a bike for the prom.
  • The Roto-Rooter man calls for backup when visiting your house.


Mickey and Minnie have been having problems for some time now and after hearing of Barbie and Ken's break up, they too decide to call it quits. Donald goes to Mickey to console him and says, "She's been a problem since day one. I'm glad you finally saw that she's crazy." Mickey looks at Donald and replies, "No, I broke up with her because she's fucking goofy."

Mickey Divorces Minnie

Q: Why did Mickey divorce Minnie?

A: Because she was f*cking Goofy.

Major Cause of Divorce

Q: What's the major cause of divorce?

A: Once is not enough.

Hurricane Matthew

Hurricane Matthew is like my ex-wife.

At first things were wet and intense, then I lost my house.