Irish Mirror

After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin. In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it. Never having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image staring back at him. 'How 'bout that! he exclaims, 'Here's a picture of my Fadder .'
He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed. So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly bitch he's running around with.'

Love Thy Neighbor

Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.

Clinton's Secret Box

Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, "There's one thing I want you to know. There's a box under my bed, and I don't want you to look in it until I die." Hillary agreed to this but, over the years, the curiosity got the better of her, and she finally looked in it.  She found three beer cans and 1.5 million dollars in cash. When she asked Bill what the beer cans were for, he replied, "Well, those are for all the times I've cheated on you." Hillary said, "Well, that's not bad after all these years, you being a politician, and traveling and all." She was about to leave, but then she said, "Hey, Bill, what about the 1.5 million dollars?" Bill replied, "That's for all the times the box got full and I had to cash the cans in."