Little Sexy Housewife

The little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he'd near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her. When he'd finished she paid him and said, "I'm going to make an... unusual request. You have to first, promise me you'll keep it a secret." The repairman quickly agreed and she went on. "Well, it's kind of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is a kind, decent man, he has a certain physical weakness. A certain disability. Now, I'm a woman and you're a man" The repairman could hardly speak, "Yes yes!" "And since I've been wanting to ever since you came in the door..." "Yes yes!" "Would you help me move the refrigerator?"

Jumping the Gun

I went to a crematorium to plan my wife's funeral, but apparently she has to be dead first.

Marrying Miss Right

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always!'