Boyfriends Over for Dinner

Three girls asked their mother if they could invite their boyfriends over for dinner. Their mother told them to go upstairs to get ready and to call them. An hour later, when the girls were not downstairs yet, and the boyfriends had still not shown up, the mother went to check on the three girls. She went to the first girl's door and she was laughing. She didn't say anything and she went to the second girl's door. She was crying. She didn't say a word and she went to the third girl's door. The third girl wasn't saying anything. So the mother went back to the first girl's door. "Why are you laughing?" "It's so small it tickles!" She went to the second girl's door and asked her why she was crying. "It's so big, I can't get it out!" She went to the third girl's door and asked her why she wasn't saying anything. "Well," the third girl replied, "you've always told me not to talk with my mouth full!"

New Sex Statistics

Stats show the average person has sex 89 times per year.
Looks like I'm in store for a wild December

Marriage Quotes

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason. Molly
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.