Always There

A man was walking across the road when he had an accident. The impact was on his head which caused him to be comatose for two days before he finally regained consciousness. When he opened his eyes, his wife was there beside him. He held her hands and said meaningfully : "You have always been by my side. When I was a struggling University student, I failed again and again. And sometimes, even my re-papers as well. You were there beside me, encouraging me to go on trying..." She squeezed his hands as he continued: "When I went for all the major interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there beside me, cutting out more adverts for me to apply...." He continued: "Then I started work at this little firm and finally got to handle a big contract. I blew it because of one little mistake. You were there beside me. Then I finally got another job after being laid off for some time. I never seem to be promoted and my hard work was not recognized. As such, I remained in the same position from the day I joined the company till now...and you're still beside me..." Her eyes brimmed with tears as she listened to her husband: "And now I had an accident and when I woke up, you are here beside me...There's something I'd really like to say to you..." She flung herself on the bed to hug her husband, sobbing with emotion. He said, "You're a freaking jinx!"

Extra Office Work

The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?" The manager replied; "No, sir, this I do free of charge."

Sunday Morning Fishing

There was this man who had a dog. Every Sunday morning at 4:30 AM the man and the dog would go fishing. One day, the man fell in love and got married. After the wedding, when the man and the woman got in bed together, the man turned to the woman. ''Tomorrow is Sunday and every Sunday morning, me and my dog go fishing at 4:30 AM. We'd like you to come along.'' ''And what if I don't want to come along?'' the woman asked impatiently. ''Well then, sweetie, we'll just have to have buttsex.'' With that, the man rolled over and fell asleep, and left the woman pondering. ''God, I hate having the buttsex, but I also hate getting up so early. I'll have to think about this more." In the morning, the woman could hear the man going downstairs to get the dog. It was much too early for the woman to get up so she decided to wait for the inevitable buttsex. She waited for about half an hour and fell back asleep, thinking her husband had left already. She awoke to the man, pulling on her arm. ''Have you made your decision?'' he asked ''Yes,'' she replied. ''I do not want to go fishing.'' True to his word, the man pulled down his pants. "By the way, what took you so long to come upstairs? It usually doesn't take that long to get Sparky up.'' ''I know,'' the man said. ''He didn't want to go either.''