Hillbilly Beat Off

A young hillbilly always went out to the barn to beat off and when he was done he would shoot his load into a coffee can and hide it under the bench. One day his father caught him and told him, "Son, every time you do that you are killing a baby."
The next time the boy went to the barn he was about to shoot his load and reached down to grab his can but a little frog had jumped in. The boy looked in the can saw the frog and said, "Son you're ugly but daddy loves ya."

Hillbilly Chicks and Polar Bears

Q: What do hillbilly chicks and polar bears have in common?
A: They both lick their paws.

Kentucky Hillbillies

Two Kentucky hillbillies happened to meet in town. "How're thangs with y'all, Pete?" one asked. "Not bad at all," Pete replied. "My old woman ain't talkin' to me this eyer week... and I ain't in no mood to interrupt her."