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The best jokes and joke writers!

Obama Birthday Golf

To help celebrate his 53rd birthday, Stevie Wonder challenged Obama to a round of golf at Andrews Air Force base.  Obama can't believe that a blind person is challenging him and tries to decline but Stevie is insistent that they play. Curious, Obama asks Stevie how he manages to play golf being blind? "When I tee off, " the singer explained, "I have a guy call to me from the green." " My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."

Stevie tells Obama that he'd like to make a wager and offers to host a free concert anywhere Obama chooses if he looses. If he wins, he gets to borrow Air Force One for a day of joy-riding around the world. Obama figures the deck is stacked in his favor and readily agrees to the wager. Obama eagerly asked Stevie when he would like to play. Stevie replied, "I'll play on any NIGHT you choose!"

Clinton and Comey

Q: Why did James Comey refuse to indict Hillary Clinton?

A: Because he found his suicide note in her Wikileaks emails.

White House Intern Application

Greetings prospective White House interns!

This year, our program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America's best and brightest to the Nation's Capitol to help the "Head Man" do his job. We expect that 1998 will be the most exciting one yet!

Why, you might be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding, yet rewarding program? Check this out:

* Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political scene of the hottest city in the world!

* Get up close and personal with some of America's movers and shakers!

* See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won't show you!

* Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!

Sound like it's for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former intern:

"I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job answering phones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the president. ...Getting involved in executive branch affairs is just fantastic."- M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif.

As you can see, being a White House intern is more than long hours, hot debates and touchy national issues.

Still interested? Fill out this information form and send it to the White House at president@whitehouse.gov

Name: _________________

Hometown: _____________

Sex: Female 

Age: ____

Measurements: (required for medical purposes)________________

How many beers it takes to get you:

Giggly:____

Drunk:____

Hot: ____

To lie to a federal prosecutor:____

You've always considered the White House:

a) a monument to democracy

b) the place where great leaders meet

c) vaguely erotic

d) extremely erotic

Hillary Clinton is a(n):

a) model wife and mother

b) icon of late 20th century femininity

c) an obstacle

d) inappropriate companion for the leader of the free world.

You've always wanted to know more about the President's:

a) Israeli policies

b) childhood in Hope, Ark.

c) romper room

 

d) "monument to democracy"

My social life as an intern would likely consist of:

a) hitting Georgetown bars with the other interns

b) reading, study

c) late nights working at the White House

d) late nights working the White House

Score 1 point for each a, 2 for each b, 3 for each c, 4 for each d. Scores of 16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call soon, Uncle Sam wants you.

*Please feel free to forward this form to anyone you know who might be interested in this program. The White House is an equal opportunity employer.

Biden Diet

Q: Did you hear about the new Biden diet?

A: You let Putin eat your lunch every day.

Male Kennedy Members

Q: Why do the male members of the Kennedy family cry while having sex?

A: Mace.