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The best jokes and joke writers!

Medicare Part G

Two senior citizens are lamenting about the lack of good nursing homes.  One of the seniors says he's considering taking advantage of Medicare 'Part G'  The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part "G") and one bullet. You're allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered! As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!  And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. As an added bonus, because you're a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes! Is this a great country or what?  Now that you've solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week.

George W. Bush in Israel

George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, "I am George W. Bush, the President of the USA, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?" Moses replied, "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 years!"

George Bush's Literacy Push

It's finally come out why George W. is pushing childhood literacy. He wants America's children to be better off than he is.

George W. Bush and Company

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you." She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" Tony Blair replies, "It's me!" and hangs up. G.W. Bush then calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you." So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Colin Powell says, "It's me!" So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell." And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

George Bush and Saddam Hussein

Q: What's the difference between George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein ?

A: It took Saddam 20 years to get that unpopular.