Money Jokes - Poor People Jokes
Fire and Theft Insurance
The other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?"
I said, "Fire and theft."
Insurance agent frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. You should have fire OR theft."
Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house is robbed while it's burning down.
Yo Mama - Robbed
Yo mama so poor, she only gets robbed for practice.
You Might Be A Redneck 56
You might be a redneck if...
- The neighborhood dogs are afraid to come around your house because the fowl are big enough to hurt them.
- You have ever had to climb up on the roof of an out building to get down any fowl that was frozen to the roof.
- You have ever worried more about the outbuildings freezing than your vehicles.
- You have ever had deer graze in your front yard close enough to the house that you could throw a rock and hit them.
- You have ever dug up your driveway to fix your water line.
- You have ever had to get up quickly in the morning in order to let the goat out before she dropped raisins on the kitchen floor.
- Your wife is the only one that the geese will allow into the laundry room.
- Any of your children learned to make very realistic animal noises before they learned to talk.
- You have to stop a leak in your flat-bottom boat with gum and chewing tobacco.
- You have to pay your hair care professional in weekly installments of $3.00.
Yo Mama - Restroom
Yo mama so poor, when I asked where her bathroom was, she said, "Fourth bottle from the left."
Broke Business Men
Weill and Mahoney had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer business with sales in the millions. Their company employed over two hundred people, and the two executives lived like princes. Almost overnight, things changed. Sales dropped sharply, former customers disappeared, and the business failed. Weill and Mahoney blamed each other for the troubles, and they parted on unfriendly terms. Five years later, Weill drove up to a decrepit diner and stopped for a cup of coffee. As he was wiping some crumbs from the table, a waiter approached. Weill looked up and gasped."Mahoney!" he said, shaking his head. "It's a terrible thing, seeing you working as a waiter in a place like this." "Yeah," Mahoney said, curling his lip. "But I don't eat here."