Life Is Precious

The doctor tells the patient he's got only six months to live but the patient doesn't pay his bill on time, so the doctor gives him another six months.

Pay for Your Past Bills

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

A Shaggy Bear Story

Two men were walking in the woods one day, when they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed them, started growling and began to chase one of the guys, who, as it turns out, was from Czechoslovakia. The bear soon caught up with him, and ate him alive. The other guy turned around and ran for his life. A little while later, the second guy found a park ranger station and told his story. The ranger took his gun, and they both went out in search of the bear, in hopes to destroy it. Soon, they came across two bears, one male, and one female. The ranger turned to the guy and said: "Quick... tell me which bear ate your friend!" The ranger leveled his gun and got ready to shoot. "I'm not really sure," said the guy, "they both look similar."
"QUICK! Make up your mind!" said the ranger.
"O.K.," said the other, "it was the male." The ranger promptly aimed and shot the female bear. The male ran off. Using his knife, the ranger cut open the belly of the female and found the body of the other man. "But why didn't you shoot the male when I thought it was the male who ate my friend?" the man asked.
"Well," said the ranger..." I never trust anyone who says that the Czech's in the male!"