Military Jokes - Army Jokes

Q: What is a soldiers least favorite month of the year?

A: March

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant  fresh from Jump School. He was quiet, looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. "Scared, Lieutenant?", I asked. He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive." I asked, "What's the difference? "He replied, "That means I'm scared with a university education."

Q: What do you call army ants when they fight?

A: Combatants

Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?

A: Turn off the carousel.

Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets of Calcutta when an old woman walked by. "Hey, Billy Joe," one said, "I think that's Mother Teresa." "Your nuts." "I'm telling you." They approached the woman and one asked, "Are you Mother Teresa?" The old lady eyed them scornfully. "Fuck off, you goddamn perverts," she hissed, striding off. "Jeez," Billy Joe said, watching her disappear into the crowd, "now we'll never know."