Adult Speak

The Grade 2 pupils returned to class after the long weekend. Their teacher told them to tell their classmates about the most exciting thing they did during the weekend, but to use adult words in telling their stories.
First Pupil: "I visited my Nana." Teacher: "Please use adult words, you visited your Grandmother."
Second Pupil: I had a ride on a choo-choo." Teacher: "Please, you had a ride on a train."
Third Pupil: I read a whole book by myself for the first time." Teacher: "Excellent. And what was the name of the book?" Third Pupil, with a big grin: "Winnie The Shit!"

Stepped On

Teacher: Let's take the example of the busy ant. He is busy all the time, works all day and every day. Then what happens?
Little Johnny : " He gets stepped on."

Punctuation Options

A teacher said to her little student Suzie, "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."
Little Suzie thought for a moment and began her reply, "Let's see. Fun, period, fun, period, fun, no period, worry worry worry!"