No Batteries?

Little four-year-old Julie was looking at her new baby brother for the first time. He was fast asleep. After staring at her tiny, motionless baby brother for a few minutes, Julie looked up at her mother and asked plaintively, "Didn't he come with batteries?"

Crew Cut

Q:  What do you call an Eagle Scout with a crew cut?
A:  A bald eagle!

First Movie Alone

A little kid goes to his first movie alone. He buys one ticket and goes in. A minute later, he comes back out to buy another ticket. The man at the counter asks, "Why do you want another one?" The kid replies, "Because that man over there ripped the first one in half."