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The best jokes and joke writers!

Zombie Apocalypse

Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

A: Hope it's Halloween.

Tap Tap Tap

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tap noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

Witch Hair

Q: What do witches put on their hair?

A: Scare spray.

Dracula K9

Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A: A bloodhound!

Knock, Knock, Knock

It's the day after Halloween and these kids are still knocking on my door.

When are they going to learn that they're not getting out of the basement?