Mama About Christmas

My mama was so cheap, she waited 'til after Christmas. 'Baby, Santa Claus missed our house. I called him, and he coming back tomorrow.' She was waiting for the stuff to go on sale.

The Twelve Days of a Redneck Christmas

The Twelve Days of a Redneck Christmas
On my first day of Christmas... pa gave to me, Some parts to a Mustang GT. On my second day of Christmas... pa gave to me, 2 huntin dawg, and some parts to a Mustang GT. On my third day of Christmas... pa gave to me, 3 shotgun shells, 2 huntin dawgs, and some parts to a Mustang GT. On my forth day of Christmas... pa gave to me, 4 mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 huntin dawgs, and some parts to a Mustang GT. On my fifth day of Christmas... pa gave to me, 5 TURKEY WINGS, 4 mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 huntin dawgs, and some parts to a Mustang GT. On my sixth day of Christmas... pa gave to me, 6 cans of Spam, 5 TURKEY WINGS, 4 mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 huntin dawgs, and some parts to a Mustang GT. On my seventh day of Christmas... pa gave to me, 7 packs of Red Man, 6 cans of Spam, 5 TURKEY WINGS, 4 mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 huntin dawgs, and some parts to a Mustang GT. On my eighth day of Christmas... pa gave to me, 8 manly dancers, 7 packs of Red Man, 6 cans of Spam, 5 TURKEY WINGS, 4 mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 huntin dawgs, and some parts to a Mustang GT. On my ninth day of Christmas... pa gave to me, 9 years probation, 8 manly dancers, 7 packs of Red Man, 6 cans of Spam, 5 TURKEY WINGS, 4 mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 huntin dawgs, and some parts to a Mustang GT. On my tenth day of Christmas... pa gave to me, 1 Copenhagen, 9 years probation, 8 manly dancers, 7 packs of Red Man, 6 cans of Spam, 5 TURKEY WINGS, 4 mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 huntin dawgs, and some parts to a Mustang GT. On my eleventh day of Christmas... pa gave to me, 1 rasslin tickets, 1 Copenhagen, 9 years probation, 8 manly dancers, 7 packs of Red Man, 6 cans of Spam, 5 TURKEY WINGS, 4 mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 huntin dawgs, and some parts to a Mustang GT. On my twelfth day of Christmas... pa gave to me, 1 pack of Bud, 1 rasslin tickets, 1 Copenhagen, 9 years probation, 8 table dancers, 7 packs of Red Man, 6 cans of Spam, 5 TURKEY WINGS, 4 mud tires, 3 shotgun shells, 2 huntin dawgs, and some parts to a Mustang GT.
 

Redneck Christmas Shopping

You know you're a redneck when...
you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.