Constipated Trust

I don't trust constipated people. 
They're full of shit.

Dogs And Fleas

Do dogs have fleas, or do fleas have dogs?

Upholding The Cloth

A priest wanted to convince a prostitute to turn respectable. So he met with her one day and began slowly warming up to her. "Oh, my child," he said, "your dress is most lovely." "Thank you, Father," she replied. The radio was playing and they danced a little as they talked. "Oh, my child," said the priest, "your conversation is most lovely." "Thank you, Father," said the prostitute. Finally, the priest sat her down and said, "Oh, my child, there is one thing I have against you." And the prostitute said, "Yes, I know, Father. It felt it while we were dancing."