Stone Cold Friendship Truths

1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you..
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well Again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsiness....
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.

Yo Mama - Portrait Studio

Yo mama so ugly, it is now against store policy at WalMart to serve her at the portrait studio as it constitutes as cruel and unusual punishment.

Buying Enemies Gifts

If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.