Calvinist Lightbulbs

Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be the one that has been chosen to be changed.

Why Ask Why - 3

• When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
• If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
• Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
• Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
• Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
• Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
• Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
• Why does one get in trouble for wreckLESS driving?
• Does a fish get cramps after eating?
• Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Flying Near Athens

As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that stuff on those hills?" "Just snow," replied the stewardess. "That's what I thought," said the lady, "but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece."