Phone Etiquette

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, a woman sitting next to him made a phone call and started talking loudly: "Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the six thirty, not the four thirty, but my meeting went long. No, honey, not with Kevin from accounting, it was with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life. Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!" Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the damn phone and come back to bed."  Sue doesn't use her phone in public any longer.

New Math

66% of the people don't understand percent while the other 42% lie about it.

Yo Mama - Restroom

Yo mama so poor, when I asked where her bathroom was, she said, "Fourth bottle from the left."