Five Day Forecast

Q: What's the five-day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days

Freaky Fast

Two teenagers are found smoking a joint in the middle of a park. They’re both arrested and taken to the town jail. The sergeant advises them they’re entitled to one phone call . About eight minutes later, a man enters the station. The sergeant says, “I assume you’re the kids’ lawyer.” “Heck, no,” replies the man. “I’m from Jimmy Johns”

Astronaut Booty Call - Ejection

Can you help me achieve a coronal mass ejection?