Spelling Problem

A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one.

Dead Mailman

A couple drives to the hospital, as the wife is in labor. The doctor alerts them that she invented a machine that will transfer some of the labor pain to the father, if they'd like. The husband eagerly says, "Give it all to me!" The couple returns home with a bouncing baby boy, only to find the mailman dead on their lawn.

Chapped Lips

Your lips are so chapped, I can hear you smile.