We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Bumper Sticker Lines

  • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  • Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
  • Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
  • Adults are just kids who owe money.
  • Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
  • I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
  • You! Off my planet! 
  • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  • I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that? 

Bumper Stickers Seen

Bumper Stickers Seen

  • You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.
  • I have the body of a god... Buddha.
  • This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
  • Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
  • The face is familiar but i can't quite remember my name.
  • Illiterate? Write for help.
  • Honk if anything falls off.
  • He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit.
  • This isn't my idea of a good time.
  • It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
  • Uniquely maladjusted, but fun.
  • This bumper sticker exploits illiterates.
  • I haven't lost my mind it's backed up on disk somewhere.
  • Oh, evolve!
  • Gone crazy be back shortly.
  • If you're not outraged you're not paying attention.

Cows Read in the Morning

Q: What do cows read in the morning?

A: The daily moos!

Hidden Meaning

Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission.

Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.

Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.

Fast learner: You will get no training from us.

Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.

Good organizational skills: You'll be handling the filing.

Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.

Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide territory.

Much client contact: You handle the phone or make "cold calls" on clients.

Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed limits.

Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors.

Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work.

Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.

Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.

Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.

Telling Some Stories

Delivering a speech at a banquet on the night of his arrival in a large city, a visiting minister told several anecdotes he expected to repeat at meetings the next day. Because he wanted to use the jokes again, he requested the reporters to omit them from any accounts they might turn in to their newspapers. A cub reporter, in commenting on the speech, ended his piece with the following: "The minister told a number of stories that cannot be published."