Signs and Notices 05

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

• Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
• In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
• In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
• In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
• In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
• On a roller coaster: "Watch your head."
• On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."
• On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
• In front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."

Louvre in Dire Straits

Due to the flooding from the Seine River, The Louvre museum in Paris is scrambling to donate French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork to any museum that can keep them dry.
Museums that have agreed to take the artwork are very excited since they're getting Monet for nothing and Czechs for free.

Real News Headlines

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years.
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man.
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy.
Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better.
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar War Dims Hope For Peace.
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While.
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation.
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years.