Q: How do you identify a vegan at a party?
A: You don't, they come and tell you.
A Vegetarian With Diahrrea
Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diahrrea?
A: A salad shooter.
Things Never Said By A Southerner
Things never said by a southerner
- Duct tape won't fix that.
- Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
- We don't keep firearms in the house.
- You can't feed that to the dog.
- The kids can't ride in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
- Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
- We're vegetarians.
- Do you think my gut is too big?
- Honey, we don't need another dog.
- Who's Richard Petty?
- We could just share a small bag of pork rinds.
- Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
- I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
- Is there anything in this restaurant that's NOT fried?
- The tires on that truck are too big.
- I've got it all on the C drive.
- There's too much sugar in this tea.
- I believe you cooked those greens too long.
A vegetarian woman came up to me the other day and said she recognized me from somewhere. I said I'd never met herbivore
Vibrator Or Soybeans?
Q: What does a vibrator and soybeans have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes!!!!