At The Counter

A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!" The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!" Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!" The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts!"

What's for Lunch

Q: How do you break an addiction to lunch meat?
A: Go cold turkey.

Barbecuing Chicken

Little old Mr. Ravelli is on his front stoop, barbecuing a chicken on a manual rotisserie.
A drunk comes walking along and says, "Hey, man...the music stopped, and your monkey's on fire."