Main Vice President

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!". "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?" The clerk replies "Canned or frozen?"

Cannibal Pick Up

Do you have a map? 'Cause I keep getting lost in your eyes... which would be delicious in a hollandaise sauce.

Cannibal Looking Peeky

Q: Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
A: Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!