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The best jokes and joke writers!

Coffee is better than Women.

Why Coffee Is Better Than Women:

Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have some. 

You won't get arrested for trying to buy coffee at 3 AM. 

Coffee never runs out. 

No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.

You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee. 

When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.

Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.

Coffee can be ready in 15 minutes or less.

White men can take black coffee home to their parents. 

Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream on it. 

You can always heat up coffee. 

Coffee smells and looks good in the morning. 

If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on weight.

Two words; INSTANT COFFEE !

Cheeseburger

A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and says "Hey bartender give me a beer." The bartender says - "I'm sorry we don't serve food here."

KFC Hillary Clinton Bucket

The 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' franchise has a new Bucket of Chicken out. It's called the 'Hillary Clinton Bucket.' It contains two small breasts and two large thighs.

Going Down

Q: What kind of shoes do you make with banana skins?

A Slippers!

Apples for Sale

A guy's driving down a country road when he comes upon a sign saying "Apples - $5.00 each." He thinks that's  a lot of money so he decides to go see what's up. He goes up to the farmer and says, "Hey, how come these apples are 5 bucks each?" The farmer replies, "They are peanut butter and jelly apples." The farmer hands him one and says, "Here, try one." So the man takes a bite out of the apple and says, "Peanut butter - that's great, but I thought you said that they were peanut butter and jelly apples." The farmer tells the man to turn it around. The man bites the other side and exclaims "son of a gun - jelly!" The man says, "These apples are great - give me some!" He gets back in his car and drives a little further down the road and then sees another sign "Apples - $10 each." Again, he pulls over, goes to the farmer and says, "Hey, what's up with these apples?" The farmer says, "They're ham and cheese apples. Here, try one." The guy takes a bit and exclaims, "Son of a gun - ham!" The guy then says, "Let me guess - I have to turn it around." The farmer says "You got it." The guy bites the other side and says, "Cheese." Again the man says, "These apples are great - give me some." Then he gets back in his car and drives down the road. He comes upon a third sign that says "Apples - $50 each." The guy really wants to see what's up with these apples. Again, he pulls over, goes up to the farmer and says, "What's the deal with these apples? 50 bucks each?" The farmer tells him that "These apples are pussy apples. Here, try one." The guy takes a bite out of it and says, "Yuck! This apple tastes like shit!" The farmer says, "Turn it around!"