How to Break Up A Crowd

A Scottish cop was asked how he'd break up a crowd.
He answered, "I'd take up a collection!"

Two Scotsmen Reunited

Two Scotsmen met 25 years after their last get-together. They hugged and slapped each others back and tears formed in their eyes as they renewed their old friendship. "Let's have a drink like we did in the old days," the first Scot winked at his mate. "Aye," his mate replied. "And don't forget it's your shout."

Robbing a Scotsman

A robber sticks his gun in a Scotsman's ribs and demands, "Your money or your life!"  When after a moment there is no answer, he repeats his demand, "Your money or your life!" to which the Scotsman replies, "I'm thinking it over!"