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The best jokes and joke writers!

Carpets

Q: What do you say to an Arab shaking out a carpet on his 5th floor balcony?

A: What's wrong Abdul?  Won't it start?

Long, Black and Smelly

Q: What is long, black, and smelly?

A:  The unemployment line.

The Wedding Is Off...No On

All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride's father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. "The weddin's off," he shouted, "Everybody bugger off!" Dismayed and muttering, the guests repaired to the parking lot, grumbling about their missed opportunity for free beer. One guest, a friend of the bride's father, held back, and approached him. "What's the problem?" he asked. "Someone stole a keg of beer, and some bastard fucked the bride!", exclaimed the father. The guest, taken aback, and rendered speechless, left the church, joining the other farmers. A few minutes later, the father reappeared and yelled "All right! Everyone back inside! The weddin's on again!" As the farmers filed back into the church, the friend again approached the father of the bride, and asked "What happened to make you change your mind?" Grinning sheepishly, he replied, "Oh, well, we... uh... we found the keg of beer."

Ethiopian Food

Q: Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

A: Neither have they.

UK Sex

Q: What's the hot new sexual position for people in the UK?

A: The Brexit - you promise to pull out but you don’t.