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The best jokes and joke writers!

Two Canadian Seasons

In Canada, there are two Seasons... six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.

The Canadians

There were three guys walking together, a Newfie, a Quebecer and a Vancouver guy. They came across a lantern and a genie popped out. "I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes in total!" The Newfie said, "I am a fisherman, my dad's a fisherman, and his dad was a fisherman, and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish". Poof! The oceans were full of fish. The Quebecer was amazed! He said, "I want a wall around Quebec, so nothing will get in!" Poof! There was a wall around Quebec. The Vancouver guy said, "Tell me more about this wall." The genie said, "Well it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." So, the Vancouver guy said, "Fill it up with water!"

Spelling Canada

Q: How do you spell Canada?

A: *C-EH N-EH D-EH

Tops Reasons It's Great to be Canadian

It beats being an American.

Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.

Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?

A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.

Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins.

Own-an-eskimo scheme.

Rocky and Bullwinkle

Q: What are the two main political parties in Canada?

A: Moose and Squirrel