Q: How do you spell Canada?
A: *C-EH N-EH D-EH
Blondes Like GST
Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.
Q: What is 74 to a blonde?
A: 69 plus G. S. T.
Top Ten Things about Living in Manitoba
1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property
2. Amusing town names like ''Flin Flon'' and ''Winnipeg''
3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto
4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government
5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter
7. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work
8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood
9. Because of your license plate, you are still ''friendly'' even when you cut someone off
10. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by
Canadians to Change Lightbulb II
Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem, one Francophone to complain that I didn't translate this joke into French, one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked, one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been underrepresented in the process, one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Outlet Mall and buy a new bulb and not pay duty on it on the way back, one to actually screw it in, one to collect taxes on the whole procedure so the government can afford it, one to buy a case of Molson for everybody to drink, and one to drop the puck.
Tops Reasons It's Great to be Canadian
It beats being an American.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins.