Paddy and His Goldfish

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.   The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".
Paddy says, "Yeah, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet!"

German Virgins

Q: What do you call a German virgin?
A: Goodandtight!

A gruesome discovery

A girl was intrigued at the kilt that a Scottsman was wearing, wondering what he would be wearing underneath. "What's underneath your kilt?", she asked him. "Why don't you take a look", he replied. Curiosity over-coming her, she lifted the kilt.then let it go,"Oh, it's gruesome!" "Well, why don't you take another look, it just grew-some more."