World hunger survey

A worldwide survey was carried out with the following question:
"PLEASE, GIVE US YOUR OPINION ON THE LACK OF FOOD IN THE REST OF THE WORLD."
No result was achieved, since the following problems were faced during the survey's implementation:
1. In Western Europe, no one knew what "lack" meant.
2. In Africa, no one knew what "food" meant.
3. In Eastern Europe, no one knew what "opinion" meant.
4. In South America, no one knew what "please" meant.
5. In the USA, no one knew who "rest of the world" were.

Irish Jig

Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?
A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!

I'll Just Wait 'Till The Garda Get Here

An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,' 'may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: ''no tanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here!''