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The best jokes and joke writers!

Keep That A Secret

After many years of hard work, Joe rewarded himself with a long, luxurious stay at an exclusive caribbean resort.  While relaxing on the beach, he was surprised to see a former high school classmate who he hadn't seen since they graduated. His old friend had been something of a "burnout" in high school, and this was the last place Joe expected to see him. Joe approached the man, and seized his hand. "Pete, it's Joe. From high school. It's sure been a long time. You look great! You must really be doing okay for yourself." "I am," whispered Pete. "I am a partner with a very successful law firm. But don't tell mother. She got the idea that I was a drug dealer back when I was in high school, and she would be terribly disappointed if she figured out how I really make my money."

Gallop for Ivermectin

Q: What was the precipitating event that led to the hydroxychloroquine/ivermectin switch?

A: I think the mane reason was not being saddled with needing a prescription and easily trotting over to Tractor Supply and pony up a few bits for some ivermectin. Neighsayers will cry foal and accuse me of gaitkeeping but this unbridled situation is becoming a night mare.

Drinking Problem?

Q: How do you know when you've been drinking too much?

A: The bartender knows your name but this is the first time you've been to that bar

Vampire Junkie

Q: What do you call a vampire junkie?

A: Count Drugula!

Serving Bears at Bars

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars." The bear replies, "If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there." The bartender says, "Go ahead." So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs." "What do mean," asks the bear. "I'm not on drugs." "Yes, you are, that was the bar bitch you ate."